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請幫我睇睇封cover letter, 謝

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Dear Madam / Sir, Re: Application for the Post of Customer Service OfficerI am writing to apply for the position of Customer Service Officer as was recently made available in your company. With great passion and energy, hope to develop career in your company.When I was 18, I have been workingfor AAA... 顯示更多 Dear Madam / Sir, Re: Application for the Post of Customer Service Officer I am writing to apply for the position of Customer Service Officer as was recently made available in your company. With great passion and energy, hope to develop career in your company. When I was 18, I have been working for AAA Company as an Insurance Agent for one year and eight months, my key responsibilities were to handle client inquires, sales and maintain good relationship with customers. I have good communication skills and experience in dealing with customers. This is the beginning of my customer-oriented career path. I obtained my bachelor degree in Business Administration at BBB University in 2008. After graduation, I worked in the field of customer service, I served as a counter servicer in CCC Company and DDD Company, then I worked as a customer service representative for EEE Company, and I worked as Sales executive for FFF Company to gain frontline experience. Had been develop my knowledge and skills, and I am sure that my friendly and enthusiastic personalities will definitely help in customer-oriented jobs. Finally, I hope that I would be considered as a competitive candidate, I will try my best to be a valuable asset in your company. For further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. My contact number is 9123-9123. Looking forward to have an opportunity to meet with you soon. Thank you for your kind attention!

最佳解答:

Dear Madam / Sir, Re: Application for the Post of Customer Service Officer I am writing to apply for the position of Customer Service Officer with great passion and energy, hoping to develop a career in your company. When I was 18, I had worked for AAA Company as an Insurance Agent for one year and eight months, my key responsibilities were to handle client inquires, sales and maintain good relationship with customers. I have good communication skills and experience in dealing with customers. This was the beginning of my customer-oriented career path. I obtained my bachelor degree in Business Administration at BBB University in 2008. After graduation, [] I served as a counter servicer in CCC Company and DDD Company for a total N years, then I worked as a customer service representative for EEE Company from YYYY to YYYY, and I worked as a Sales Executive for FFF Company since YYYY to gain frontline experience. Having develop my knowledge and skills in this field, [] I am sure that my friendly and enthusiastic personalities will definitely help in customer-oriented jobs. Finally, I hope that I would be considered as a favourable candidate, I will try my best to be a valuable asset in your company. For further information, please [] contact me at 9123-9123. I look forward to having an opportunity to meet with you for an interview soon. Thank you for your kind attention. [ ]的是省去的。 基本文法和句子都算可以,但有些細節不足,但有些卻有點累贅,學習寫得簡而清會比較依公文的寫法會好一點,另外注意段的編輯和用詞是否表達你的風格(例如你說great passion and energy,...friendly and enthusiastic personalities是否在你的寫法上反映,還是僱主看見你信會覺得是個墨守成規的人)。 注意!Thank you for your attention意思並不是attention所以不要用「!」 另外留意look froward to是一組preposition phrase跟著的是用verb-ing的寫法。 這兩段太範本化了,可以嘗試寫得貼身有力和獨特一點: I will enjoy meeting with you for an interview to allow you to know more about me.

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